In 2000 there were lots of changes and troubles in my life… I had had such a wonderful job opportunity with fantastic earning potential and a life without the worries that are part of the day to day lending practices. Then in July after six months this company (with all the promises) closed due to the dot com melt down. Suddenly, I found myself unemployed, with lots of prospects, opportunities and decisions… The clamor in my heart caused me to again renew a closer relationship with the Lord. The following is an excerpt from my journal when the first rumbles of impending doom made themselves known:
7/05/200- Jesus You are my dwelling place- the Rock I stand upon. When you called me out of the world (the boat) to walk on the water by faith you also provided yourself to me as a huge rock. This is for the times when my faith in water walking lags. When I am overcome by the stormy waves kicked up by the enemy.
In Your loving mercy You crafted yourself into a huge rock. It is here that I rest warmed by Your love. It is here that I recharge my energies communing with You. It is amazing how You grow the rock to meet my needs. In extreme situations where towering waves threaten to overwhelm me, that your rock enlarges to become a shelter with a cozy cave away from the breaking, sweeping waves crashing all around.
I hide myself in You. There I find solace, and peace to renew my strength. While the enemy pounds outside in fury! I rest in You, letting the violence expend itself. Relentlessly hurling at you what was meant to overcome and defeat me. Lord, please show me and give me the discernment to know that those waves are too powerful for me. Please keep me from trying to conquer in my own strength.
Sometimes I an tempted to think that I can cling to You my rock with my own strength when the waves threaten to suck me off. They wash over me and grip me to pull me loose in their wake, pounding me down as they thunder volumes of water. Rushing, cascading – what first I perceive as playful, pleasant –easily handled earthly things … all of a sudden become deadly and menacing.
My heart quakes and shudders. My being is still grounded in You-but I am working in my own power and wearing myself out. Wondering; “where is the blessing the sense of security” of being Your child? The enemy sensing this comes roaring in for the kill. Only due to Your loving mercy am I lead to discover the cave and quiet rest when I rely on You and hide from the enemies powerful surge.
In You will I frustrate him again, and again as I hide myself in You. Coming out only when the storm is over – played out, walking on the placid smoothness –as gentle swells reflect the Son. Here I am Lord! Thank You.
Now it’s your turn: If you have had times of trouble and found the Lord to provide, your needs as Savior please take a few minutes to share your thoughts in the comments section. Please share your faith with others.